InsanitysEnding

-oooooooo

I'm back now.

I just got home from my orchestra concert! It was really fun and I played fairly well.   It was soo hot under the stage lights, but the heat distracted me from my back pain so whateves.  

  

    Like holy crap, it's been a while since I was actually active on here. To be honest, I've mostly been occupied with high school. It's so much fun but really stressful. Add that to my family's problems and my depression and you've got a bit of a problem. Anywho, I'm starting to feel better.

    My school year is divided into trimesters with 5 classes in each one. This trimester I have German, Orchestra, Algebra, Debate, and Lit 9. German is really great and easy; plus my teacher is so nice. Orchestra is fun and I actually have a concert tonight. Algebra is kinda meh but I've been doing pretty good and the teacher is very nice. Debate is incredible and though it consumes a lot of my time, it's soo worth it. Lit 9 is okay but my class is really badly behaved.

    Anyways, I'm hoping to be able to do more art-type things.

    So lately I've felt really emotionally disconnected from everything and it's kinda scary. It's been like this for a while and I'm trying to want to keep holding on but it's hard and while I'm thankfully not harming myself sometimes I think about it and it freaks me out. I have a counseling appointment tomorrow but I'm not sure how much I'll get done considering it'll be my first appointment with a new counselor so I feel a little nervous. Plus I can't help but feel as though I'm overreacting most of the time and that it's all in my head and so I get mad at myself for being upset. 
    One thing that helps me lately, as strange as it is, watching magical girl anime. I've been watching Tokyo Mew Mew again and that makes me really happy. I've also been playing wizard101 with my little sister and that's fun.
    But in the fall when school starts again, we're not gonna have any money really and I'm scared because since my mom will be only working two days a week due to nursing school she won't have any money to pay rent to my grandma who we're currently living with and that'll make my grandma mad. Everyone's just gonna be very stressed out since it'll my first year of high school, my little sister's first year of middle school, and my older sister's senior year.
    My dad came up in June and so he's living here now but he has no money either and everything just stresses me out and I feel like I'm slowly falling apart.

I did something an artist should never do. 

I looked through my old art. *shivers*

Anyways, I deleted some things. Mostly the motivational posters.

School is almost over. It ends June 6th, and my girlfriend is coming back up from Florida on the 5th, so I'm gonna try and go to her house after school that day. My dad is gonna move up soon as well. He's retired now.